Angharad 24 was lucky enough to hear from Xavier, a friend of Michael’s, who got to know him pretty well during the late eighties.

Xavier and the others in his group – all now professional musicians – were about 20 years younger than Michael. Michael was very happy to find a younger generation so interested in jazz and blues, and they became friends. He seemed to enjoy the company of younger people, and they enjoyed his.

Michael was a really very nice bloke, who was generous and open most of the time. He was not at all egotistical; rather Xavier thought him self-effacing, and burdened by self-doubt, which probably had a detrimental effect on his career.

When they first met, Xavier had never heard of him, and was only told that he had been in films such as “For Your Eyes Only” and “The Devils” by the others. Michael never spoke much about his films, and didn’t name-drop, though he had acted with some of the best-known actors of the century. He did express frustration at being offered ‘hit-man’ roles, and hoped he would be given a chance to get out of them, but said, ‘nobody wanted me.’

Xavier felt sure that playing a part well meant more to Michael than money or fame.

He loved music and just wanted to learn more. He played saxophone and drums well, but even in music, Mike would have moments where he would say “Oh, I’m no good at this.” Xavier thought he was self-taught, because he would ask for help with reading difficult music.

The whole group loved “Some Like it Hot”, and Michael thought that Marilyn Monroe was a great actress.

He had around three different girlfriends in the years 1989 – 92. He said he wouldn’t have minded marriage but did not want children. Unfortunately, most of the girls he’d been with had wanted them. He liked children, but had no ‘paternal feelings.’

Once, a young female punk walked into the bar where they were meeting, and drank out of a bottle. Michael asked why women thought they had to dress up and behave like men to get liberated, and said these young women didn’t know they were born! His grandmother and mother had lived very hard lives, but they came through it and bettered themselves while retaining their femininity. “My mother always made sure that she dressed nicely and kept her appearance and femininity throughout” (or words to that effect). Nevertheless, Xavier thought Michael was definitely in favour of equality.

Michael had a fierce hatred of Thatcher. He was a champion of the working classes, and Xavier thinks he would have voted Labour.

Xavier and the others knew of Michael’s depression. He told them he could go for weeks on end just not wanting to join the rest of the world, and that at one time he’d had to drop out of a project in the early stages, because he just couldn’t force himself to go to the studio. He also said that making and listening to music soothed him.

Xavier was out of the country and hadn’t seen Michael for about a year when he heard of his death. The whole group were very upset.
In 1982, there was an Equity referendum on whether the union should accept money from the government for the purposes of balloting members under the terms of the new employment law. This would have resulted in expulsion from the TUC.
The text of a campaign advert in The Stage, 10 June 1982, is reproduced below.

Alone among trade unions Equity has decided to take money for some of its ballots under the terms of the government’s employment law. If it does so it will almost certainly be expelled from the TUC. The AGM overwhelmingly supported a motion to reverse Council’s short-sighted decision. Council declined to accept the AGM’s recommendation and has now put the motion to referendum. We urge you to vote APPROVE.

1. The 1982 Employment Bill puts at risk everything Equity has fought for over the last 50 years. It will render unenforceable our casting agreements in variety, theatre, films, TV and radio.

2. Equity should stand firm with all the other arts & entertainments unions against this threat.

3. By taking government money for our ballots we would be sacrificing our political independence.

4. This government money would not solve Equity’s financial problems. The financial advantage is unlikely to amount to more than £1.00 per member per year.

5. If this referendum is not won, expulsion from the TUC is virtually certain.

6. Outside the TUC we would have no protection against “poaching” by other unions. Many unions, among them ASTMS, NATKE, ABS, NUJ, NUT & NATFHE – would be happy to represent specific aspects of our profession, our employment would fragment (SEVERAL UNIONS – SEVERAL SUBSCRIPTIONS) and our union voice would be lost.

7. Outside the TUC we would have little chance of defending our professional standards effectively, especially in the new electronic media.

WE BELIEVE THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT CHOICE YOU WILL EVER HAVE TO MAKE IN EQUITY AFFAIRS, AND THE CHOICE IS YOURS. WE ASK YOU TO CHOOSE WISELY AND TO APPROVE THIS RESOLUTION.

Michael Gothard evidently felt strongly enough to contribute financially to the Save Equity Campaign, who placed the advert, as his name appears in the list of supporters beneath the main points of both this advert, and one published earlier, on 27 May 1982.
Michael was very anti-nuclear arms: really quite passionate about it. It must have been early in 1973, when I was 15, that we had a talk at school about nuclear weapons. I chatted about it at home, and Michael immediately said: 'We have to disarm.'

He and my father had quite a debate about it. I thought I agreed with my father's argument.

Michael did not say anything, but the next time he visited he had the book of poems. He told me he wanted to read me one, sat me down, and read this poem by Peter Porter.

'Your Attention Please'

Your Attention Please
The Polar DEW has just warned that
A nuclear rocket strike of
At least one thousand megatons
Has been launched by the enemy
Directly at our major cities.
This announcement will take
Two and a quarter minutes to make,
You therefore have a further
Eight and a quarter minutes
To comply with the shelter
Requirements published in the Civil
Defence Code - section Atomic Attack.
A specially shortened Mass
Will be broadcast at the end
Of this announcement -
Protestant and Jewish services
Will begin simultaneously -
Select your wavelength immediately
According to instructions
In the Defence Code. Do not
Take well-loved pets (including birds)
Into your shelter - they will consume
Fresh air. Leave the old and bed-
ridden, you can do nothing for them.
Remember to press the sealing
Switch when everyone is in
The shelter. Set the radiation
Aerial, turn on the Geiger barometer.
Turn off your Television now.
Turn off your radio immediately
The Services end. At the same time
Secure explosion plugs in the ears
Of each member of your family. Take
Down your plasma flasks. Give your children
The pills marked one and two
In the C.D green container, then put
Them to bed. Do not break
The inside airlock seals until
The radiation All Clear shows
(Watch for the cuckoo in your
perspex panel), or your District
Touring Doctor rings your bell.
If before this, your air becomes
Exhausted or if any of your family
In critically injured, administer
The capsules marked 'Valley Forge'
(Red Pocket in No. 1 Survival Kit)
For painless death. (Catholics
Will have been instructed by their priests
What to do in this eventuality).
This announcement is ending. Our President
Has already given orders for
Massive retaliation - it will be
Decisive. Some of us may die.
Remember, statistically
It is not likely to be you.
All flags are flying fully dressed
On Government buildings - the sun is shining.
Death is the least we have to fear.
We are all in the hands of God,
Whatever happens happens by His Will.
Now go quickly to your shelters.


He didn't read it as himself; he really WAS that announcer. It was terrifying. I was crying by halfway through, and at the end he just looked at me.

I remember saying something like, 'But what if that happens and we are not all together?' He then said something like: 'That's why we must disarm.'

I was freaked by it. He knew he had badly frightened me with that poem; that was his intention. He gave me a hug and said something like: 'I've upset and frightened you.'

I said he had.

He then said: 'Think on Little Sister, think on.' That was typical of him. Michael had very powerful ways of putting his view across. He would never back down on the message. I'm still affected by that poem today. At the time I was terrified. The thought of nuclear war after that haunted my dreams.

Yet his message had the opposite effect. Ironically that poem made me MORE pro the nuclear deterrent.

I remember having another lively discussion with him about it in the late 1980s. He respected the views of others, and usually managed an intelligent and show-stopping counter-argument. On this occasion, with remarkable prescience, he said something like: 'But what about if some crackpot gets hold of one?' I could not argue with that!

~~

Contributed by A.S., the daughter of one of Michael's close friends.

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